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Five Simple Tips on How to Have a Conversation With a Woman

So you've approached that gorgeous woman, you've exchanged pleasantries and got her attention... and now you've fallen into that dreaded awkward silence. The truth is, if you're going to have any success meeting women you have to know how to start a conversation with her, and how to keep it going. Fortunately it's not as difficult as you might think. Next time you approach a woman, try these five simple tips on how to have a conversation with a woman.

1. Observe.

Develop an eye for details. What's she drinking? What color is her blouse? Does she seem to be enjoying the band, or does she seem bored? What about her jewelry -- is it elegant, funky, or does it appear hand-made? Is there some interesting pattern or symbol that she might be eager to talk about? The point here is twofold: first, to let her know you're taking an interest in her as a complete package and not just a hot bod; second, these details give you something to ask her about if the conversation starts to lag.

2. Interview.

You don't want to come across as a talk-show host, but a few interviewing basics from Journalism 101 can help keep a conversation going. Avoid questions she can answer simply with a "yes" or "no". Try to ask open-ended questions that encourage long, thoughtful responses. Everyone enjoys talking about themselves. The more she gets to talk, the better she'll feel about the conversation. Keep in mind the basic questions: "Who? What? When? Where? How?" As in, Who are her friends, her favorite people, her heroes? What would she most love to be doing with her life? Journalists will also include "Why?" questions, which could make the woman feel as though you're challenging her values.

3. Tell Stories.

There is a reason why history's most successful public speakers have been storytellers. Stories have a unique ability to touch us and to make us feel connected to the person the story is about (and, by extension, the person telling the story). Just remember, your stories don't all have to be about you. And they probably shouldn't be. If you talk more about your friends and family than about yourself, it will reflect well on you. And keep it short. It's better to let her ask for more detail than to bore her with too much.

4. Make Connections.

As she talks, try to respond in ways that show you're paying attention and actually listening to what she's saying. If the story she's telling reminds you of something in your own life, share that with her. But make sure you do it in a way that feels natural, and doesn't hijack the conversation. Don't interrupt her story to tell yours. Keep it short, and give her a chance to respond. Also, keep a sense of perspective. If she's talking about the recent death of her grandmother and the only connection you can come up with is the goldfish that died when you were six, you should just keep that to yourself.

5. Give and Take.

A good conversation is like a casual game of catch. It's an informal back-and-forth. In a game of catch you don't run with the ball, there is no scoring points. You catch the ball, and you toss it back. Don't keep the conversation to yourself; toss it back to her as often as you can. If you feel you're running out of conversation, revive it with a "getting to know you" question. "If you suddenly got a million dollars, what would you do with it?" or, "If you could have dinner with one historical figure, who would it be?" Yes, they're old and might seem unimaginative and desperate. But they are also a great way to inject new life into your conversation.